


Revenge Redeemed

by Pokypup49



Series: Hand Cuffs and Kisses [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Blow Jobs, Embarrassment, Epilogue:Ed's antic backfires, F/M, Fuery knows too much, Fuery knows what's going on, Gen, Handcuffed Roy, Handcuffs, Havoc is scarred, Havoc's boxers, Make up sex, NSFW, Riza get revenge, Smutty, Team Mustang antics, heavy humor, post The Safe Word, underwear meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-10-30 07:22:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17824400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokypup49/pseuds/Pokypup49
Summary: This is after The Safe Word, but I guess you don't have to read that one in order to enjoy this one.Riza goes after Roy for some sexual antics regarding her forgetting a safe word. After a week, she has come to the conclusion of the perfect revenge. She acts upon it. It gets worse and worse for Roy until he gets out. Will he call a truce or will he get her back?Adding Tags as I go.





	1. Revenge

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters. :((((

                There were a couple of ideas she had to enact revenge. Although she did, at the time, promise to be nice and not kill him in his sleep, she did not promise that she wouldn’t embarrass him later. It made her blood boil, rage, that he knew the whole time that she was searching for the safe word, and he continued nonetheless. Riza knew it bordered rape, and how dare he. The sole thing that stopped her from putting a bullet in his groin was the fact that she did enjoy it. She did like sparring with him, and she sometimes did need that kind of release. And she knew he wasn’t trying to hurt her. He’d never hurt her. Even the few bruises that were left, he didn’t _hurt_ her. That didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to get him back.

                For the rest of the week, she stewed over the fact that he knew she was trying to think of the safe word, and he didn’t stop and ask if she was okay. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t, thank God, it was just disappointing to her that he had his way and she had something else in mind. Riza thought over buckets and buckets of water, tying him up in her bedroom and going for a walk, even going into the office all dressed nice and not giving him anything. Stupid safe word. She could always tell him the safe word changed, hide it in Falman’s books, and then proceed to … That’d be a little overkill. She, after all, did want to still have a sexual relationship with him afterward.

                She was tired of his smug look, just grinning away every time he got a secret moment to look at her. She knew that he was thinking about it. He was thinking about more sex, rough sex, sex of him winning. It only enforced her desire to wipe that smug look off his face. But she wasn’t going to give him clues of her devious and revengeful act. Oh no. She was going to act all sweet and nice until the final moment. It was going to be a day when he least expected it when she could lure him to her, and she could walk away victorious. The desire to break him completely wasn’t there, only put him in his place. Riza knew and made a conscious thought to at least make it up to him in some great office sex, but not without a lasting memory that she was not one to be played with.

                Riza Hawkeye waited till lunch when everyone was out of the office. He had his own office at the moment. With big doors that separated him from his men, it gave him the privacy he liked. It was the privacy she needed. It was a temporary office, but he thought about making his permanent office since he could nap and no one would notice. It was where she could hide her revenge but make an everlasting mark on him. The renovation on his office was to be completed at the end of the month and he’d be moving back, so now was the time before it was going to unacceptable for revenge. With the crew gone, she could easily get out her set of cuffs. An eye for an eye. If he thought he was good with cuffs, she’d show him how lucky she wasn’t armed with metal bracelets that night. With the crew gone, play her game without any distractions, at least for now. And since he was staying through lunch to make up for napping earlier, Roy was easy prey.

                Riza opened the door and closing it softly behind her. It was essential to see his reaction, watching him raise his head, looking for fear, suspicion, or intrigue. Roy just raised his eyebrow with a grin, seeing her walk slyly over to him. She smiled seductively, playing her game with him, not daring to allude to her scheme. However, she still wanted to arouse him. Riza knew he liked to play. Twirling the handcuffs on her index finger, grinning. “I thought now would be a good time to redeem that revenge card.” She was sure to flutter her eyes and let a mischievous smirk slip from her lips.

                Roy sat back in his desk. They didn’t normally have office sex. She didn’t like the risks involved. He on the other time like the idea of risk, of getting caught. (And he did know the consequences of getting caught.) Roy put his hands behind his head, leaning his chair back. “Oh? I think the revenge card can be redeemable at this moment.” He grinned, raising his eyebrow.

                Riza wanted to laugh out loud. He made the mistake of letting her stew over this for so long. She had time to think of every detail, of every factor, and each movement. The planning and purpose of each part of her plan were detailed specifically for him. He could have apologized. He could have apologized right after. But instead, he wore that stupid grin, that smirk, and gloated over his so-called win. She set the cuffs on the table, forcefully turning his chair to make him look at her and putting her hands on the back of the chair leaning over him. “But, sadly,” she whispered against his neck, “I think I’m going to enjoy this more than you.”

                Roy snickered. “I never thought I’d accept that challenge,” he dared in return. He let his hands fall to the chair’s arms. He wasn’t going to fight her, she saw that. He was willing to let her way, was willing to be subject to her so-called revenge. “Have your way with me, my queen.” He lifted his head to let his lips meet hers, but Riza only grazed them, subtly teasing, before standing up, letting her fingers drape down his chest. He liked it when she resisted giving in to him. He liked it when she teased him like this. She knew he liked it so much it became a weakness and exposed Achilles heel. It was a flaw that she was more than willing to use for leverage. One finger easily unbuttoned his uniform, exposing his white shirt under it. He didn’t even move. He just continued to grin. Surely, he was wondering when the cuffs came in order. He kept eyeing them. She never saw worry or curiosity in his dark eyes. He only glanced at them with pleasure and excitement. He had let his guard down completely.

                Riza kneeled down, getting close to his growing dick. And she could see it already in his pants. She let a finger glide over it, then grabbed his package roughly with her hand.

                “Hey,” Roy jumped. “Easy there.”

                She raised her eyebrow, looking up at him. She wasn’t going to hurt him. Oh no. She had no intentions of _hurting_ him. Only roughing him up, make him nervous that she might harm him. Make him uncomfortable enough that he starts to think about the intentions of her vengeance.

                “I never hurt you,” he glared back.

                She squeezed it again before standing back up. “You’re going to need to take off your pants before I can go any further, Colonel.” She leaned against the desk and licked her lips. “It’s hard to take want I want if you block the way.”

                Roy didn’t even flinch. He stood up far too quickly, dropping his pants to the floor, allowing his erection free of restraint. He grinned as she hummed approvingly. In all honesty, he was always proud of himself, and she always enjoyed it. He was impressive no doubt. But it was his pride, his boasting that was going to work against him. And she was sure he was thinking the worst that can happen is that he came too quickly, or maybe she left him a horrible mess to sit in for the rest of the day. Riza had planned worse than that, so much worse. She picked up the cuffs, showing them to him, letting them glide down his left arm. Roy still had no fear. He continued to grin.

                “The game is that you have to sit still,” she whispered as she bent over him, bringing her breasts close to his face. She licked his earlobe and blew hot air into it. “If you move, it’s game over.”

                “This _is_ a bit of revenge,” he joked.

                She snapped the cuff around his left hand and clipped it to his pen drawer under his desk.

                “So far, I’m not seeing a problem here,” he taunted. “Is this all you got? Leaving me one handed? Riza, Dear, you know I’m just as capable with one hand as I am with two.” All she wanted to say is that he’s going to need his right hand to finish himself off for the next couple weeks, if not today.

                “My name is Lieutenant Hawkeye while we are at the office,” she corrected. She pushed his chair back hearing the handcuff clink as it got tight and pulled against his wrist. She heard him hiss with the sharp pain. Her hands grabbed his thighs and dipped her head to his groin. She licked up his shaft, the full length. He hissed again, gasping as she reached the sensitive tip of his hot rod. Her lips accepted his tip, but only his tip, as she sucked gently over him. A deep groan rumbled from him. “Better not move,” she warned before putting him fully into his mouth. She slipped down, careful to move slowly, slower than slow, as her lips tightened around him as she lowered herself, taking all of him into her mouth. Then she retreated, letting her tongue press against him while she sucked harder on him.

                Roy couldn’t hold it in as his hands shook in pleasure. She knew he was loving this. She knew he was letting her just do whatever she wanted to him. He’d have no quarrels. Riza grasped his balls, giving them a gentle tug, and receded back to the tip, sucking harder as she pulled back. As she drowned his dick behind her lush lips, she leveraged it back to give him ample pressure, increasing his pleasure.

                “Fuck,” he moaned. “You know me too well!” She still tried not to laugh out loud. Of course, she knew him this well. She dipped her head back over him and did it again. A gentle tug, deep throating him, and a slow withdraw with a strong suck. She felt his knees shake. But he wasn’t bad. He wasn’t going to come. He’d hold out, she knew he would. She continued to slowly blow him, ever so slowly, engulfing him completely, letting her tongue massage his base while she sucked. She rotated her head left and right. She hummed deeply as her lips tightened around his base. He swore at her and moaned loudly. But he didn’t say the safe word. And Riza knew he wouldn’t.

                She finally stood up, wiping her mouth of the excess saliva to give him a soft and gentle peck on the lips. She could see the sweat on his brow and his chest heave with excitement. Without losing the mischievous eye contact that she had with her commanding officer, she placed his right hand, his free hand, over her breast, telling him to squeeze. And he did. She gasped and motioned to sit over him but stopped when a certain door opened. She didn’t move as she heard Breda and Havoc laughing it up with Fuery in the back arguing with them. They were obviously teasing the poor kid.

                “Looks like it’s work time,” she frowned. “We’ll have to finish this later.” She winked at him, pulling away from him and brushing some hair out of her face.

                “No,” he begged. “Just lock that door. We’ll stay in here till they leave again.” She could see his desperation now, the fear that it would stop. His fear was for all the wrong reasons.

                “Oh, Colonel,” she giggled. “You always enjoy play over work.” Riza walked around the desk, grabbing the key. She grinned, letting him know now that she was up to no good. Arriving at the left side of the desk, she watched him turn around, or attempt to turn, his eyes growing big. She opened his bottom drawer and dropping the key in, shutting the door. He couldn’t even properly struggle.

                Now was the moment that Roy realized what the revenge card she redeemed was. His jaw fell open and his eyes were larger than they should have been as he looked up at her. “You wouldn’t dare.” He couldn’t reach it. His left hand was attached to his pen drawer! And his right could not reach the drawer over his left! His pants were around his feet, and his erection pulsed angerly. “Don’t you dare,” he whispered angerly. He kept looking at his lieutenant then at the drawer.

                “I didn’t think you’d dare to do what you did.” Her words were slow, low, and deep. It was clarification of his sins and the penance he must pay. Riza just leaned against his desk and admired her work.

                There her Colonel sat, looking completely shocked as he glanced back at the drawer and then to her. “Okay, fine, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I won’t ever do that again.” He shook his head, leaned over his desk, begging quietly for her to free him.

                She put her finger to his lips to hush him. “It’s too late,” she whispered. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back at the end of the day to release you.” Riza reached under him, her hand grabbed his raging erection and gave it a few pumps. He moaned again. “In the meantime,” she said coolly, standing up. “You have a hand to sign off on those reports. Better get your work done so you can play later.” She mouthed a kiss, blowing it to him and turned towards the door.

                “Oh, for fuck's sake, Riza,” he begged quietly. “Come on!” She could hear him pulling at the cuff. “Pumpernickel!” He said firmly. “Pumpernickel!”

                Riza stopped at the door, laughing softly. “You think the safe word will work now? I didn’t have the safe word, neither do you.”

                “At least I could remember it,” he groaned, almost pathetically, as he watched her grab the handle and open the door. He was done for, and like a defeated dog, he laid his head down on the desk and sighed.

                “I’d really appreciate it if you can stop slacking and at least get those reports signed off on before Fullmetal gets here.”


	2. The Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy has to find a way out before the situation gets worse. And when it does get worse... it works in his favor?

                Roy face flushed a deep red. Riza was probably dying of laughter inside. He instantly ran thousands of ideas through his head of escape. He had forgotten Edward and Al were on their way in today per his own request. He had a special assignment for the two of them. The absolute worst thing would be to end up exposed by Edward. That little punk would probably take a picture and send them out as Christmas cards. As the door began to shut, he yelled out to Falman. He had to stop Ed from further embarrassing him. The kid had the sour habit of pacing in the office. He’d sit down for a few minutes, then pace while Roy was finishing work. Then he’d sit and pout while being talked to, then paced again. He hurried to button up his jacket with his one hand, hopefully looking normal.

                Falman opened the door and poked his head in. “Yes, Sir?”

                There were several things that could be done. He could ask for his help but may not live it down. And, they weren’t supposed to be having that kind of relationship. Not that Falman would say anything to the higher-ups. That wasn’t his style. But he sure as hell would never forget. Or, he could… “Falman, please find Fullmetal and let him know I need to see him tomorrow. I don’t have the official forms in.” He waved his hand, trying not to look like he was compromised in any sort of way. “I have too much to do.”

                “Yes, Sir,” Falman nodded quietly. “I think I saw him at the mess hall earlier. I’ll find him.” Falman turned but stopped before leaving the office. “You okay, Sir? You look a little pale.”

                Roy resisted dropping his head to the desk and crying. Even as he tried, he still was not holding a straight face. He felt pale. He was not in a prideful, or boastful mood. Paranoia surged through his veins and his brain was evaluating every possibility of escape. “Yeah,” he said, trying hard to act normal. “I’m fine. Just tired and too much work to do.”

                Falman just shrugged as he left.

                Roy still sat and looked down at the bottom drawer with the key. He glared at it, hoping that his concentration alone would open it. His erection had left him, and he was left now with revenge thoughts of his own. When he did get out, and he would get out, he was going to be sure to get her back. He wasn’t sure how or what yet, but this wasn’t over.

               He tapped his finger on the desk. “Oh!” He pulled open his pen drawer to get his ignition gloves. He’d just blow it off. As it slid open, the drawer banging loudly as it stopped suddenly, he was it completely empty. She had taken everything beforehand. “How,” he muttered helplessly. Of course, he knew. She knew he wouldn’t open the door to get a pen. He had one on his desk. She’d just empty it before he came into work.

               The Colonel slammed the drawer shut, probably a bit too loudly. Hopefully, Riza wasn’t out there snickering as she heard him frustrated and desperate. He tugged at the handcuff some more as he thought things over. He turned in the chair, reached behind him to open the drawer with his right hand, but his finger could only touch the drawer’s handle. He worked his feet over to it but also couldn’t get a steady hold enough to open the stubborn thing! He continued to try, different positions, different ideas, but none worked well, if at all. When it did open, he still couldn’t reach in, and Roy just kicked it shut, again maybe too loudly. Why did he insist on such a wide and big desk? His ego got the best of him again. If he had his own desk, in his own room, this probably wouldn't be so bad. He tried to wiggle his hand out, but she had properly tightened them to avoid any escape. “God damn it,” he cursed quietly. “Fucking woman,” he tapped his pen on the paper. “I’m going to-“

                A knock at the door stopped him immediately and he rushed to look normal. “Yeah,” he called though it came out as a croak and he coughed to cover it up.

                “I need you to order these parts in for me,” Fuery said as he opened the door carefully. He peeked his head in. “I know you said no more parts, but the radio just needs a few more items.”

                Roy waved his free hand for him to come closer. He’d been there for almost an hour, and he was willing to lose a bit of pride for the freedom. He’d tried to pull his pants up, he’d tried to escape, he even debated calling for them all to go home early. Now wasn’t the time. Maybe the youngest of the team would be able to push the relish of humility aside and humble him with a bit of help.

                “I just,” Fuery rubbed the back of his neck. “Hawkeye just said that you were tied up had work to do.” He set the request forms on the desk. “She said you wouldn’t be available until after five, but I’m going to the meeting at four, so I won’t be here.”

                “She thinks she’s so funny,” he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

                “Huh?”

                “Never mind.” He reached across the desk. “I will make you a deal. But it involves the utmost secrecy.”

                Fuery, the young officer, tilted his head. It wasn’t like Mustang to give him secret missions. That was Havoc or Breda, but mostly Havoc. He was sworn to secrecy to begin with, but missions, that wasn’t something he did. He stayed behind on his radio, eating his candy bar, listening to chatter. He’d been on a mission once to twice with Hawkeye, but even then, it wasn’t super secretive. Especially not as Mustang was indicating.

                “Super-secret,” Roy smiled innocently. “Like, I will personally burn your ass if you tell anyone.”

                “Well,” Fuery frowned. “Now I don’t want to do it.” Roy watched the young officer shake his head. It was a deeper regret to threaten the kid. He should bribe him instead.

                “No, no…” Roy instantly started to beg. “I will give you anything you want. I’ll let you order a whole new model, give you a week off, whatever you want!”

                Fuery folded his arms across his chest. Roy could see his doubt and reluctance. “How about I know first, and I’ll agree to it.”

                Roy put his free elbow on the desk, putting his head in his hand. “That’d give away the secret wouldn’t it.” He slid his chair back, letting the clink of the handcuff be heard. “I just need you to get the key.”

                Fuery’s eyes grew and he didn’t move. “Oh no! No way! I don’t want part of your kinky games!”

                “It’s not kinky! I’ve been trapped here against my will!” Roy waved his hand in front of his face and tried to look innocent. He knew it was no use.

                Fuery waved his hands as he turned around. “I’m not crossing Hawkeye! No way!”

                “How do you…” Roy blinked, realizing his and Riza’s deepest secret wasn’t so secret. With a shake of his head, he watched a ray of hope walk away. “Come on!” It was not meant to be. Roy watched the young Sergeant walk out his door. “Damn it,” he cursed, looking back at his linked hand. “I’m so screwed.” He turned back to his papers. He only had another two hours to go. It wasn’t that bad. He’d been in worse scenarios. He debated actually doing some work. Maybe she’d check up on him, reward him for good behavior… _She better_ , he thought angerly. _She thinks she’s so funny_. He signed off on a paper. _I’m just going to have to spank her_ … He grinned and chuckled. _Spank her so hard._ His face fell and he held in a whine. _Even thinking of revenge on her makes me horny! God damn it!_

                Havoc peeked his head in. “Hey there, Chief.”

                Roy looked up, tired and partly defeated. “What do you want?”

                “Fuery said you might need some help.” He shut the door and puffed his cigarette. “Said you were in a pickle and needed someone who could keep a secret.”

                Roy glared as he fisted his free hand in frustration. He did need help. And he hated to admit that he needed help. But Havoc? Oh, fuck no. Havoc would bring this up at every bar, tease him whenever he could. He would be sure to give Roy shit for the rest of his life. Roy didn’t need that. He was still trying to live down lighting his pants on fire while he was drunk, trying to illiterate he had a smoking hot ass.

                Granted, he could pull rank and threaten to jail him…

                “You know I’m your guy. What’s up?”

                Roy saw the red bud of his cigarette glow with Havoc’s inhale. “Actually,” he smirked. “I could use a smoke.” He took his pen and started drawing on a piece of paper. Havoc tilted his head. “Give me your cigarette.”

                Havoc tentatively took his tobacco out of his mouth and handed it to his boss. Roy grabbed it and put his fingers to the array. A flash of flame erupted with a loud snap and Roy tore free of the links with a victory “Ah-Ha!” His wrist still had the cuff on, but that didn’t matter.

                Havoc grinned. “One of those days?”

                Roy chuckled as he admired his work. “You have no idea.” He pointed to him. “You, my man, are a lifesaver. Now never speak of this moment again.” He leaned back in his chair, sighing in relief. He was free of Riza’s little game. Now it was time to devise his own redemption.

                Just as Roy reached into his lower drawer to get that stupid key, his phone rang. The two exchanged curious looks. He had to pick it up, didn’t he? He could just ignore it but maybe it was Hawkeye congratulating him. _As if_ , he rolled his eyes and picked it up, Havoc still standing before him.

                “Sir.”

                His eyes squinted. It was _her_.  

                “General Grumman in here. I told him you were a little busy with some personal tasks.”

                Roy glared at the door, Havoc following his gaze and tilting his head curiously.

                “But he’s insisting to see you.”

                “Hawkeye, this is not a good time,” he warned. “Don’t you dare. In fact, I command you to not to send him in.”

                “He says he’s free. Go on in, General.”

                Roy dropped the phone jumping up to pull his pants up before Grumman could open the door. He chose to ignore Havoc’s look of complete surprise as his bare lower body was exposed. Havoc thus tried not to swallow his cigarette. He was barely able to pull up his boxers before the door swung open and General Grumman strolled in.

                “Colonel Mustang?”

                Both men had no explanation. Havoc was so taken aback by Roy’s exposed position, realizing that he was half naked _and_ was tied to the desk. And now Roy was in his underwear in front of the General. Roy's eyebrow twitched in embarrassment.  He was sure that Hawkeye didn’t know that he was unchained and that he stood up. However, it was seemed far worse now that he was frozen in embarrassment. This was it, he thought. This was the moment he lost everything. He knew it was coming. He knew Riza Hawkeye would be the end of him. All because he decided to have too much fun at her place. He surely didn’t feel like he deserved it, but there was no explanation for him standing in front of Lieutenant Havoc in his underwear.

                “What a brilliant innovation!”

                Both men about fell with Grumman’s praise. This was defiantly not what they were expecting.

                “That is, after all, the best way to think! I’m sure this is why your team has been so productive!” Grumman undid his belt and took off his pants as well.

                Havoc looked at Roy, his face clearly terrified. Roy looked back at his friend. “What the fuck,” Havoc mouthed to Roy. Roy shook his head, eyes wide in terror more than surprise. Now he was in quite the predicament. He thought he was going to be demoted, and now he was being praised. And! He was standing in front of the general, the general that loved him particularly the most, who also was without his trousers.

                “I did want to talk to you about some of Havoc’s progress. Sit, Lieutenant Havoc!” Grumman folded his pants over the back of the chair. “We’d love to have you part of this meeting!” He laughed boastfully. “You surely would like to know how your men are exceeding my expectations.”

                Havoc looked again at Roy, shaking his head, silently begging to be dismissed.

                “Lieutenant,” Roy coughed, regaining his own composure, and pointed to the chair. “We’d love to have you here.” Roy grinned as he sat down, careful to not let the metal band still around his wrist clink on anything.

                Havoc mouthed, “fuck you,” as he began to take his own pants off. With Roy’s blue striped boxers, Grumman’s old-time whitey-tighties, and Havoc’s pink hearted boxers, the three men began talking about productivity. Well, it was mostly Grumman talking, and he had the wonderful habit of trailing his thoughts and telling stories. All Roy and Havoc could do were sat still and nodded occasionally. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now wait... before you all send me your billion other ways that he could have escaped, or got the key, or whatever... Will you just let me have my funny moment? I wrote this and then a week later realized that there are so many damn holes. I'm sorry for leaving them. However, please enjoy it for its humor. We can just let Roy overlook these obvious solutions to keep to the humor of the story. :) 
> 
> Thank you for being a reader. I appreciate all of you!


	3. Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revenge done. But now they need to make up and create a truce.

                Riza sat very pleased with herself. She had put Roy in quite the predicament, and she knew he’d behave and try to hide his situation. It was just a matter of time until he called her phone and begged her to let him go. He was a quick thinker, she had little to no fear that he couldn’t get himself out of any scenario that would come along. He generally did. He had been in these predicaments before. Maybe not handcuffed and naked waist down in front of the Easter Command’s General, but he did wake up naked in bed with Havoc once. Havoc never let him live it down. Every time she took him home from the bar, Havoc would call over his shoulder, warning her about him getting naked.  

               But Havoc hadn’t come out, and Grumman was in there for a while. Riza couldn’t deny she was curious of what they were talking about. And she was usually there to take notes and what not. Yet… Her presence was not requested. Not by Colonel Mustang, nor General Grumman. This was indeed odd. There was no harm in checking in on them. She should be there anyway so it wouldn’t be like she was out of place. She stood, poured 3 cups of tea, and decided to go in and further torture her commanding officer. She could appreciate a hateful, defeated expression. It was her turn to wear the smug and winner expression.

                Riza opened the door, looking up to see Grumman turn and wave her in. “Ah, Darling! Good to see you! I’d love to have your opinion on this! Roy here was proposing having female office personnel wear skirts in the summer.” He chuckled as the old man normally did when ladies were brought up. “And I’m happy to hear his fellow staff members are supporting him. Havoc finds it a brilliant idea that should increase productivity.”

                She shot a glare that would surely kill. It was a glare Roy was sure she’d give him at the other end of her scope. Havoc and Roy both knew her feelings on Roy’s miniskirt ambitions. It was almost intentional for him to bring Grumman in on his plan. Was this his get back at her?

                “Don’t you think that’d be nice looking?” He chuckled as he stood up and greeted her, taking a tea.

                Riza’s face went from a normal pink color to red apple. “What…” Havoc, who was also a bright red color, and General Grumman were sitting in their underwear. She looked back at Roy.

                “This is a pants-free zone,” he clarified. “You’re going to have to remove your pants too if you are going to stay.” She saw that sly smirk, the smirk that she was so happy to finally wipe from his dorky face. Well, she was right. He was able to get himself out of any situation.

                Riza calmly, with the most composure she could muster, put the tray down on the table, turned and walked slowly to the door. “I’m sorry, General. I have no opinion on it.” She opened the door and exited. On the other side, she shook her head, trying to free her mind of the picture that was now permanently scarred in her brain. Fine, he won that tiny victory. But he was still cuffed to the damn desk. The rest of the team looked curiously towards her, then to the door as she returned back to her seat. She almost wanted to give away what they were doing in there, but at the same time, Fuery was already uncomfortable after being in there before.  

                It was another few minutes before the door opened and Havoc emerged with a traumatized look. His face was pale, his cigarette hanging from his lips. He didn’t say anything as they all looked on their friend, watching as he sat down and lower his head slowly to his work, not saying a thing. He had not only had he seen Colonel Mustang’s…wanker…  And Grumman in his underwear…but Hawkeye had also seen _him_ in his underwear. Hawkeye’s little prank on Roy backfired against her, but it also was mortifying each team member as a virus would infect and fester in a body. Soon the whole body would be infected and it’d been weak and sick (literally) until it was cleansed of her devious prank. He wouldn’t even look at her. He just stared at his papers.

                General Grumman walked out, doing his pants up and laughing. Breda shook his head now, blinking as he watched the strange scene. No doubt that was abnormal. Why was Grumman putting his pants on? What had Havoc seen? What did they _do_ to Havoc? He glanced back at Havoc who shivered nervously, almost as if Grumman’s presence ticked a memory that he wished never existed. Roy, however, did not follow. No one said a thing, though everyone saw what they saw. Only Fuery seemed relatively okay with the whole thing. And even the sole female avoided eye contact. She didn’t even wish the General well as he left, another odd behavior being exposed.

                The team sat in silence for a few minutes. It wasn’t like they were doing any work at this point. Breda had collected enough just from the scene to know something was up. And Hawkeye watched him rub his chin. When he finally did glance at her, she squinted her eyes at him. She obviously didn’t want him to go into the office. And he was the only one left that hadn’t been in Mustang's office. She coughed loudly and tossed her head to the door.

               “And…” Breda stood up and tugged on his friend’s sleeve, insisting Havoc to move from his frozen position over his papers. “I think it’s time we leave this zoo.” He had gotten the message clear. She was going to investigate, and he was sure she was going to have at it with Mustang. They all didn’t want to be there.

                Riza watched as they packed up their stuff and, in a rather quick fashion, ran out of the office. She looked back at the door. There was something odd going on. Maybe her revenge on Roy went too far. She instantly wondered who had seen him, who knew, and who knew it was her? She approached the door, hovering her hand over the knob. She had made plans to go in, finish him off, let him go, and make him swear to never to have rough sex like that with her unless it was previously mentioned. Now, she wondered if she had gone too far. If he had been too embarrassed, she doubted any amount of sex would save her from his own retaliation.

                She opened the door and stepped in boldly. As the door shut behind her, she stood in fear. Roy Mustang was not at his desk. He had freed himself. She turned to flee but Roy stood between her and the door, smirking. All her thoughts of sucking on him, riding him, bending over his desk, making him scream out her name… It all went out the window. The hairs on her neck flared and she stepped back, prepared to go hands-on with him. She wasn’t afraid. By no means at all was she ever afraid. But now she had to improvise.

                “Oh,” he laughed. “We’re not going to do that,” he leaned against the door. “We’re going to create a truce.” He leaned casually, with his arms crossed. He was entirely too comfortable, confident with his grin.

                She squinted, clearly disbelieving his peace offering.

                “How about we just throw the handcuffs out the window,” Roy stepped forward. “No more handcuffs.” He held his hands up defensively. “And we promise to ask if it’s okay and agree to roughing it once in a while before we act upon it.”

                It was too good to be true. How was she supposed to believe him? Riza looked around in the office, looking for any surprises before relaxing a little. It was at least worth it to clarify the terms if he was serious. “You have to tell me,” she clarified. “If you want that kind of sex, you have to tell me. No surprises.”

                “I promise.” Roy took another step forward.

                Riza took a step back, still on edge about being trapped. "What you did was not appropriate." She said firmly again. "That was not okay on any level."

                “I am sorry,” he said gently. “So very sorry.” His face remained calm, not giving Riza any form of indication that he was hiding a malicious intent. 

                “Then why do I feel that you’re just trying to secure me in a false sense of security?”

                Roy put his hands in his pockets and smiled innocently. He stepped to the side. “You can go. I won’t stop you. And I won't prank you back. But you can’t come back after me either.” He raised his shoulders in a shrug as he smiled.

                She turned her head slightly so she could look at him from the side. “Then what are you up to?”

                “I was thinking of making it up to you,” he mentioned nonchalantly. “Dinner, or sex, or something like that.”                

                “Something like that,” she smirked. Riza knew what he was insinuating. The casual mentioning of sex was purposed.

                “Yeah,” he took his hands out of his pockets and took a step towards her. “After work, maybe I can really make this all up to you. And in return…” His voice drifted as his hands reached out to her. “You never have to handcuff me to my desk.” Roy took his last step towards her as their bodies touched, his against hers, and his face grew expectedly closer. “Though I do want my gloves back,” he whispered over her lips.

                She giggled lightly, pulling away from his intentions.        

                “Maybe I can make you dinner, do the dishes, maybe …” She felt him lean forward.

                “Colonel,” she giggled again. “Why can’t you just come out and say it? And why do you still want me after I put you through that?”

                Roy laughed as he tightened his hold on her waist. “I’ve had nothing to think about but how I was going to get you back.”

                She couldn’t help but look at him skeptically. “So, this is what this is about then?”

                “No!” Roy leaned back as he shook his head. “This is makeup sex.” A devilish glint flashed in his eyes. “And,” he raised a finger to bop her in the nose. “It’s up to you how we have it. I won’t be an asshole about it. It’s all up to you.”

                She returned his glare as she started thinking about it. “Well…” It was her turn to play a card. “I did send everyone out.”

                “Oh?”

                “More like they left for a while…”

                “But you don’t like office sex,” Roy’s nose affectionately brushed against hers. “I can wait. It can give you time to think of what you want.”

                Riza let her fingers fall from his chest and fiddle with his buttons. “I know what I want,” she breathed sensually.

                His hands slid from her sides to her back, and to her ass, cupping it roughly. “Show me.”

                Her lips met his passionately. She honestly wasn’t sure how this had happened. Maybe it was his eyes. But she wouldn’t complain. His hands on her ass was certainly contributing. The kiss was slow and careful as she sucked on his lower lip. His groans of pleasure were deep within his chest, rumbling as he reached down to her thighs. Instinctively, her hands rubbed against his chest as they looped behind her neck, bracing for him to pick her up. And he did. Riza liked it when he did that. She relished it when his tongue slipped in, tantalizing her, beseeching her own tongue to play. His moan made her heart beat faster, beat stronger against her ribs. And as he held her close to his waist, walking her towards his desk, she wondered if she gave certain signs that made his own heartbeat as wildly as well.

                He dumped her onto his desk a bit rough but Riza had no objections. Their faces never parted as they turned and slipped against each other except for an exasperated breath. She opened her legs willingly as well, allowing him to gain closeness, to press his erection against her pulsing groin. There were rare moments that Riza would want to be wearing a skirt at work, but how she wished she had one on now. Their fingers rushed, fumbling, over the buttons on each other’s uniforms. Their steady hands shook with a heavy sense of frenzy; uncoordinated, and clumsy. But as soon as the shirt was free, it was tossed aside as if it was a nuisance, which it defiantly was. A nuisance, something that was indistinctively in the way of direct contact with the other’s skin. Something that she wore with such pride, that she honored and cherished, she no longer wanted anything to do with. However, their lips had to part as her shirt was ripped over her own head exposing her black bra.

                It was chaotic. Simply chaotic. There was no rhyme or rhythm or even principle to any of their movement. It was disorganized. But it was them. It was Riza. It wasn’t until he kissed her neck and his hands slid with a precise purpose to her breasts that she fell back onto his desk with a gasp. It was only at this time that time stopped for the first time. His lips pecked from her collarbone down her breastbone to her navel while his hands squeezed her breasts rather tightly. He was cautious to rub his thumbs over her nipples as he gave them tender squeezes. She bucked her hips and held in a scream. It was exactly what she’d want. She could feel his fingers undoing her pants as he kissed along her pants line, licking along to her hip bone. As she could hold in a scream, she couldn’t hold in the light laughter and twitch away from his tickle.

                Mustang knew her, knew every twitch, knew every sensitive spot, and every pleasure point. He knew her more than anyone else. There was a reason why she never dated anyone else. None of them could ever compare to him. Under the tips of his fingers, he could feel all of her anger, her feelings of betrayal, fluttered away. Her skin softened just by his touch, with mild twitches as he grazed sensitive and ticklish points. With quick motions, boots and pants were tossed aside, and he pressed her back, laying back on the top of his desk. “Yes,” he groaned, letting kisses trail behind his lips as they trailed down her.

                “I know what you want. Even more so,” he grinned from his position between her legs. “I know what you need.”

                Hawkeye didn’t have a moment to argue her case as she felt his tongue slip up along her folds, sucking gently, ever so softly, as it got above her clit. He lapped her slowly, tasting her as she gasped his name. It sounded as if she wanted to scream it, but it couldn’t come out, so has forced it with a gasp. Her eyes opened wide as she took in his ceiling, the tall white speckled ceiling. Its heights were no match for the stars that continued to form in her eyes. White specks of ecstasy flashed as she felt his tongue lap again, slowly, slipping into her, licking as it urged her to come. She didn’t think she was that aroused when she entered the office, but the second she tasted him in that first kiss, she felt herself become entirely too overwhelmed with urges not appropriate for work.

                “Oh, Riza,” he moaned into her, going to suck rougher on her. “I know you like that.”

                She reached down grabbing a lock of his hair, pulling his face to her. “Stop talking.”

                He snickered as he deepened the penetration with his tongue.

                Her hand shot up, grasping the eve of his desk as she shrieked, stopping short. The sounds were completely involuntary, and she felt him snicker again. He was going to enjoy this, but it was his lust that would get them caught. A thought dashed through her mind of stopping him, telling him to rendezvous in thirty minutes at her place. She laughed internally at herself. She didn’t want it to stop. She wanted him to pleasure her until she couldn’t stand; until she’d be forced to sit the rest of the day with a wet reminder between her legs. Then, with his eagerness to finish the play, they’d connect again at one of their apartments and devour each other in thirst that could only be quenched by bodily fluids and potent hormones.

                His tongue began to focus more on her enlarged clit, tingling, sensitive to touch as it flared in pleasurable pain each time his teeth brushed along it. Her arm acted on its own, flying back to his hair, scratching his scalp, probably drawing a little blood. Thankfully he had dark hair. She felt his finger dip into her, sweeping out more of her salty, yet buttery elixir and he graciously lapped that up too. And again, and again it dipping into her. One thing about Roy Mustang was that he was raised with girls. So, he knew how to pleasure a woman. There was no doubt that his foster sisters taught him a thing or two because he was incredibly good when it came to hitting her just where she needed it with one finger. And although Riza had some pride in pleasuring herself and being rather independent, there was no comparison to his fingers. Sadly, it was as deep as she liked it when it came to his dick, but his digit was a talented piece of his body for sure and one that she enjoyed just the same.

               She was starting to fear that they’d gone on too long; that the men would return to hear her cries of bliss behind the large doors. She wanted to finish quickly, return to her modest uniform, and let their secret be just that. She already felt herself tightening gripping his finger as it bent upward to her g-spot. If she could feel how tight she was, so could he, which she’d guess why he was starting to groan. He pulled his finger out, sliding another in with it as he pressed as deep as he could reach into her. Her back arched, and her breathing increased in short and rapid intervals. Each breath she felt her walls close tightly against those talented fingers as they were shoved deeper into her. His lips kissed the inside of her thigh as she heard him praise her. _I don’t need your praise_ , she thought humorously. _I need you to fuck me._ Of course, she should have been praising him, and as she tilted her hips down to allow just a little more leverage, his name escaped her in the mentioned praise. His ego sucked it right up, like a thirsty desert soil of the East.

                Then it was over. Her fist banged against his desk as she whined loudly, blowing air forcefully through her nose. He groaned into her leg, mumbling for her to just let it loose. She was hoping that he was and wasn’t touching himself where she couldn’t see. As hot as it was, the mess was going to be one more step to covering up their affair. She felt him suck one last time on her, licking her ejaculate mess up, before standing up. He calmly walked around to his desk, pulling out a hanky and tossing it onto her.

                “I told you I knew what you needed.” It was an easy gloat and he leaned over her from behind, kissing her nose and then her lips. It was soft, gentle… defiantly different than what started this whole event. “I think it’s a proper sign of faith for the truce.”

                She laughed as much as she could, her chest still heaving heavily. “I’ll think on it,” she muttered.

                “How about you just tie me up when you come over tonight and make me beg for mercy?”

                Riza rolled her eyes as she sat up, wiping herself once more before sliding off his desk and reaching for her pants and boots. “It’s too bad,” she nodded to the other side of his desk. “My boss has too much work to do. I guess there isn’t any play till he gets it done.”

                “Oh,” he picked up a pen, tossing it in the air and catching it. “I hear he’s easily motivated though.”

                She pulled her pants up, fixing her belt. She turned her head over her shoulder. “Motivation, huh?” She reached for her shirt. “How about, I’m leaving at 1730 and if he’s not at my place, with all his work done, then there is no dessert for him.” Riza buttoned up her uniform and flattened it with a swipe of her hand. She leaned down, picking up his shirts and took the few steps around the table, noticing his raging hard-on already. She reached out to cup it, brushing her thumb over its pulsing tip. Her lips brushed over his. “He knows that I love dessert first.” He pressed his shirts to his chest, his hands weary to hold it as she stepped away. She could see him put on his undershirt and too distracted by her to do it up. It was even more amusing as she heard Roy took a hard gulp, swallowing the drool that was forming.

                She put on her boots, lacing them, bent over so he could see her backside. “We better get back to work. There’s no time for slacking off now.”

                She heard him collapse into his big chair and groan. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he growled. “I won’t even have a chance.”

                She let her head turn as she opened the door, tossing him a raise of her eyebrow. “Get that work done, Sir. No excuses.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fitting end if you ask me. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. I'm glad you all have enjoyed this.


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pranks are not over. A little alchemist decides he wants in on the fun.

                Colonel Mustang was almost done with his work. He had just a few more tasks, signing boring documents, going over inspections, assigning investigations; boring and mundane tasks of his promoted rank. He was mentally exhausted and ready to go on patrol and go home. But, he was almost done. That meant that he’d have tomorrow to play. He had some plans to hide away at the library and do some research on different alchemy methods. He'd been looking forward to it all week. The search for knowledge was never complete and although he had a powerful alchemic power already, he felt it was his obligation as an alchemist, and state officer, to never stop learning. It’d been on his list of “to-dos” for a while now and if he had nothing tying him to the office, he’d be able to do something more of what he enjoyed. He just had a few more responsibilities. 

                As he strolled through the office, heading back to his enclosed office, 2nd Lieutenant Breda stood to tell him something. Mustang didn't care. He held up his hand and kept walking. “Not now, Breda,” he insisted. “Let me get some work done and then we can talk.” He rolled his shoulders as he neared the big doors to the temporary office. He was going to miss them when his office was complete. They were a sanctuary to the rest of the world. As he passed his 1st Lieutenant, she looked up, her brown eyes following him to his office. He could see that also wanted to say something as she lifted her finger but then decided against it. “If I get all this done before the end of the day, I will let everyone go home,” he announced to his team, through with the attempted distractions. “So please no distractions.” 

                Breda sat down with a smug shrug. He leaned back in his chair grinning at Havoc who also shrugged his shoulders. He let the heavy door shut behind him and walked back to the large desk. The hard part was not thinking about the obscene actions that he and Hawkeye had done on his desk yesterday. His lips curled as memories of her naked body beneath his, him tasting her, and her moans as he on so tightly. But he stopped as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. There was something off. He looked around, not seeing anything out of place. There was no evidence to support his paranoia. Nothing was moved or missing. He looked in his desk, looking for any evidence to support another prank being conducted. It was a valid concern, but he didn't even know who would get at him now. Nothing. He tapped his chin as he continued to look for clues. Nothing. Mustang supposed it could be that he was unsettled from the last few days of childish antics. The heavy pranks were done, but it wasn’t abnormal for the group to keep each other on their toes.

                “You’re overreacting,” he told himself in a grump. He leaned over his last small stack of papers and started reading down it. “Nothing is going to delay our escape. Just get the work done so we all can run away.” He scribbled a few things down, signing his name.

                But his edge didn’t go away. THe threatening feeling continued to hover over him like a dark cloud. As he initialed down one form, he looked around still expecting something to happen. “Lieutenant?” He called out and waited. Maybe she didn’t hear him. That was a bad part of having those wonderful big doors. Remembering that Hawkeye wanted to tell him something made him think that maybe now he should know it. It was possible that she knew something that he didn't and it wasn't that bad. Mustang picked up the phone to see a flash of blue to his left. His head snapped over to see a ripple of blue lightning shoot to the ceiling right above him. “Lieutenant!” There was no stopping it. He jumped up to avoid it, but he was too late. A large tube and hole appeared, releasing a deluge of overwhelming proportions upon him. He wasn’t so upset that the papers were all ruined, but more of the fact that it was a direct hit to his ego. The person behind this little joke knew how useless he was with water. There was only one little twarp that could imagine this. “Lieutenant!” He yelled again, standing pathetically under the water.

                The team heard their Colonel yell from inside the office and they all froze. Havoc put a cigarette between his lips and lit it casually. “I’m guessing he found Ed.”

####

                Ed opened the door and looked around at the crew. He grinned, not seeing the Colonel in the office. "Lucky me," he snickered. "He's not here."

                "The big doors." Havoc thumbed the doors as he sat up. "But he went out about an hour ago. He should be back any minute."

                "What's up, Big guy?" Breda nodded a hello to the young alchemist. 

                "The Colonel and I were supposed to go over some stupid project I fucked up." Ed made his way over to the couch in the corner. He shrugged it off. "If he wanted it done right, he should have done it himself." 

                "I'm pretty sure he was going to praise you," Hawkeye interrupted him. "You did a good job."

                Ed grumped loudly. "Not what he told me earlier." He sat up straight and made a stern face. "Fullmetal! You will report to my office. We have to go over what should have been done and not what you did." Ed tried his best to imitate the Colonel's voice. "You keep this up, they are going to have you on service duty!"

                Fuery snickered in his cubical, but Hawkeye just rolled her eyes. "I'm sure he's just being sarcastic, Edward." 

                "Yeah well, I'm pretty sure he wants me here as much as I want to be here." Ed slumped on the couch, picking up a magazine and flipping through it. 

                The group shrugged and most of them went back to work. But Havoc sat back and put a cigerette in his mouth. "I wonder why Colonel has been in a sour mood." He looked over at Hawkeye who was too busy doing her own work. "You didn't prank him again did you Hawkeye?"

                Ed's head shot up. "Prank?"

                Hawkeye's shot up to and she squinted at the 2nd Lieutenant. 

                Havoc snickered. "Yeah, Lieutenant Hawkeye pranked Colonel," he started, but Hawkeye cut him off quickly.

                "It's nothing," she said calmly. "It wasn't that good of a prank, and it's not worth telling."

                Havoc and Breda burst into laughter. "Bullshit!" Havoc grinned. "You freaking hand-"

                "2nd Lieutenant," she said firmer but did not raise her voice. "May I remind you that you were in your underwear too?"

                Ed sat silently watching them go back and forth, grinning much like a madman. "What the hell happened?"

                Hawkeye turned so that she could see him. "It wasn't anything important. Just a small prank." 

                Every one of those officers could see this little metal wheels in the alchemist's head start grinding away. 

                "I'm sure he is not going to appreciate any other pranks in the office for some time." She turned back around and went back to her work. 

                "Especially from you," Breda continued to taunt. 

                Lieutenant Hawkeye took her service gun out and placed it on the desk loudly. "Enough," she warned again. 

                But it didn't stop Edward on the couch from thinking. He looked around, noticing everyone's attention back to their papers. He stood up and stretched. "I might as well just sit in his office and wait it out," he said easily, trying to play off his plan. He knew that Hawkeye above all of them would put a stop to his evil execution if she knew how he was going to get at Colonel. 

                "He really is in a bad mood," Fuery tried to warn. "I really wouldn't do anything."

                Lieutenant Hawkeye raised her eyebrow. "Edward," she said in a warning like voice. "You shouldn't be causing trouble if you know he's already mad at you."

                But Ed waved it off. "I promise not to hurt him," he joked. But the rest of the team didn't look convinced. "No really, I'm just going to go in there and get some well-earned rest. He'll be sure to wake me with his endless bullshit when he gets back." They continued to look doubtful, but no one stopped him as he opened the big door and slipped in.

####

               "Lieutenant!"

                Hawkeye looked down, causing everyone else to look at the bottom of the door. Water seeped from the under the door, leaking into the foyer area they resided in. More yelling ensued. Vague makings of curse words could have caused the heavy doors to vibrate if the words were physical. There was pure rage and destruction that was happening within the room. “Do we go in,” Fuery asked quietly. He peered over his desk nervously and gulped. 

                Hawkeye got up with a sign. The men in the office were wimps. It was always her that had to calm the Colonel down. Her steps towards the door through the water were determined. The squish and splash of the running water and the soaked carpet under was loud from her heavy steps. The group peered behind her from a safer distance. Hawkeye rolled her eyes. Like she said, wimps. She opened the door quickly to see Colonel Mustang throwing his chair at the closet door. “You little fucker!” He yelled. “Come out here and fight me like a man.” He was soaked through, his uniform dripping and hugging his body pathetically like a wet dog. 

                “I could. You’re useless now anyway!” She turned to hear the voice of a Mr. Edward Elric from one of his metal closets. He snickered in there as Mustang punched the metal. 

                The team peeked in, curious to the loud cries of anger. They could see that the closet door was sealed shut, and their Colonel soaking wet from the drain in the ceiling. Edward in the closet verbally harassing the superior officer of the office.

                “When I get you out of there,” Mustang growled. “I’m going to beat you with your own arm!”

                “Colonel!” Hawkeye interrupted the two.

                “No! This little bastard-“

                “Sir,” she glared. “You’re the adult here.”

                The rest of the group shifted their eyes from one to another, and to the other again. Mustang stood, red-faced, stiff, and slouched over. He turned back to the closet, an to his Lieutenant. “You put him up to this,” he accused in a growl pointing at her angerly.

                She glared back. “I did not. I think you should think about that for a minute before you continue your statement.” It was a more than generous offer if you were to as Havoc or Breda. Even Falman would have agreed to it. 

                But Mustang did not. He punched the door and shook the handles again. “Fullmetal, come out and let’s finish this like men!”

                Only this time, there was no response. The team looked at each other, getting nervous. 

                “What,” he yelled, punching the door again. “Too afraid to get your ass kicked?”

                Havoc strolled past everyone, reaching out coolly to hand Mustang a piece of chalk. He then turned and just as easily, walked out of the room. It didn’t take Mustang but two seconds to draw a transmutation circle on the door and open the closet up. He swung to doors open with force before pulling at his hair. Everyone crept in and peered over his shoulder, fearing that they’d be his next object of attack.

                “Huh,” Fuery shrugged. “He made himself an escape hole.” There in the back of the closet was a nice little hole, perfect for just the little shit to climb through. And, as his trademark, a round face with a tongue sticking out, and a bobbing antenna. He signed his work. 

                Mustang turned to face the youngest in the group but Hawkeye grabbed Fuery and placed the Sargent behind her. “Sir, you need to calm down before you address him.”

                “Do you not see what he’s done to this office?” Mustang roared as he waved to his desk and the things around it. Everything was nearly destroyed by the rush of water. Then he waved at himself. “Then he dares to make a mockery of me!” He pointed to them. “Who let the little twerp in my office with the intent of his prank?”

                No one said a word, nor did they admit to it. None of them, or maybe all of them, were responsible for it. If anything, they tried to warn Fullmetal from acting out. They certainly didn't assist in the desecration of the office. And yet, to be on the fiery end of the Colonel's warpath would certainly prove to be fatal. 

                “Excuse me, Colonel Mustang.”

                The group turned to see Colonel Talkern in the doorway. The tall man held Edward by this shirt, up off the ground. The boy squirmed and wiggled as he attempted to escape from his grip. Once Ed and Mustang’s eyes met, he turned to the other Colonel. “Please, save me.” He whined, looking back at Mustang who sat with a soft smile and his arms crossed. "I wasn't supposed to die so soon..." 

                “You put a hole in my wall,” Talkern growled back, scolding Fullmetal enough for Ed to realize that Mustang was mild his correctives. “Is he yours?”

                Mustang grinned, almost maniacally. “He sure is.”

                An hour later, Edward sat behind Lieutenant Hawkeye in the corner, legless and pouting. No one was talking to him as they also were well reprimanded for allowing him into the office "without supervision." And then when Ed complained that he was in a corner like a little kid, Hawkeye replied with, "you acted like one." So, he pouted. He grumped a few times, hoping that Havoc or Breda would rescue him, but they all avoided eye contact as if their life depended on it.

                His younger brother, the reasonable one, came out of Colonel Mustang’s office and looked at Edward. “I’ve successfully negotiated your release,” he teased, snickering. He waved his leg at him. “But I had to promise him that you’d get your leg back once you were off military property.”

                “Stupid…..”

                “I hope you learned your lesson,” Hawkeye said calmly as she turned in her seat.

                Ed didn’t say a word as his metal armored sibling picked him up, holding him under his arm and carried his inanimate body out the door.

                “Have a good day,” Al called back.

               The door to the hallway shut and the group turned back to Mustang who now stood with his arms crossed, still grinning, in his own doorway. 

               "I'm honestly surprised you didn't kill him," Fuery piped up. 

               "I don't' have to," he responded. "Knowing your enemy is knowing their weakness. I don't have to kill him to get my revenge."

               "What would be Ed's weakness," Falman asked. "What would... oh!"

               Colonel Mustang nodded. "I'm just going to make one special call to Resembool. I'm sure he's going to need his automail fixed." 

       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. The question was raised, what if Ed did get involved. Haha. Hope you enjoyed this story! It was a laugh to write.

**Author's Note:**

> My husband wouldn't let me go without seeing Riza getting some kind of revenge. I don't know about all of you, but I was laughing the whole way through making this. I hope you do too. 
> 
> Thank you for being a reader!


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